A Web Developer Walks into a Bar…


A junior developer panicked when he realised he didn’t know how to initiate a secure shell session to a remote machine. As he became more upset and his voice grew louder, his boss — the senior developer — took notice and tried to quiet him down. With his finger pressed to the young developers lips, the senior developer calmly whispered, “SSH.”

by Jeremy Stewart
Illustrations by Rob Hudak
Q: Why did the web designer drown?
A: She didn’t know if she should float:left or float:right.

Web Developer Walks into a Bar

Q: Why was the web developer fired from his job?
A: He was getting too Sassy.
Alternate version:
Q: Why was the web developer fired from her job?
A: She did Less every day.
Q: What did the Southern web developer say when he found out his team stopped using version control?
A: Y’all better Git!

Web Development Jokes

Q: Why did the developer stay home from work?
A: She had a code!
Q: How did the scrawny web developer put on some muscle?
A: He started using flexbox (with float fallbacks for older versions of IE).
Q: Why was the JavaScript reality show cancelled after only one episode?
A: People thought it seemed scripted.

Scripted Jokes

Q: How can you tell that a web developer is working?
A: You can hear him Grunting!
Q: Why does no one like jokes about descriptions, keywords, or character encodings?
A: They’re too ‘meta’.
Q: Why was the iOS developer always so sleepy?
A: She wasn’t given any Java.
Q: Why did the IP cross the subnet?
A: Because the NAT said to!
Q: Why couldn’t the variable enter the JavaScript store?
A: It was (Closured())!
Q: Why was the class upset that its parent died?
A: Because it wouldn’t be getting the inheritance!
Q: Why did the class attend the gay pride parade?
A: It supported polymorphism.